Independence Day

It was one of the best ever...Independence Day's that is. The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite holidays... not just because I love the patriotism...it also doesn't hurt that it's a summer holiday...and I love the sun. So I didn't GO to the fireworks...I didn't travel...I was however among friends and of course my two beautiful children...and it was my own Independence Day. I haven't felt this free in years...possibly ever. I finally feel like I own my life...it is what I make of it..I'm getting out of it what I'm putting in it. Being on my own, I'm getting quite used to having things my way. Not that I'm a control freak...I don't even think that's possible with two kids. I just like to be in control of where I'm going, what's is or isn't on tv, what time I go to bed...you know the basic rights we all should have. Don't get me wrong...I don't think I'm destined to be the little old cat lady that has been locked in her house for years...I know that I am meant to share my life with someone special, I just haven't found him yet. For now, I celebrate the opportunity to declare myself the owner of my life again and never to let myself be controlled again. I look forward to the day I can share life with my partner...until then I will keep celebrating Independence Day.

Keep'in it Fresh

How do we keep life fresh and interesting? Whether it be our work, our children, our marriage/relationships we have to keep it fresh...our perspective, our interactions. Once things become routine, we lose passion...this is detrimental (especially to relationships). Is it possible there is a key solution? Humor's good, common interests are important, but a relationship needs so much more for sustainability. Good communication...the ability to communicate both verbally and non-verbally not only what your feeling, but how you got there, how you intend to procede from there and what your expectations are. I think so often we get comfortable with a particular communication style and expectation that we place on ourselves that we are afraid of change and afraid to change the way we express ourselves. What's the solution? I guess just keep talking..no matter what it is...no matter what you think someone else might think or do...keep talking. Use humor, use sincerity, BE YOURSELF.

Scoop the Poop and move on

So I re-read my last entry and it was a little scattered to say the least, and rather emotional...but true. I don't take it back...I said what I feel....and I meant it. So now that I've wallowed in the pity of my once again FABULOUS life...I shall scoop the poop and move on!!!

Life is good !!! Just take a look around, read a newspaper...it's so obvious how good we have it. Most people bring misery upon themselves...favorite saying.. "Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out."

Live it!

Do Re ME

Wow, I'm so excited!!! I finally have my own blog...I have arrived. The last few days, my head has been so full of so many thoughts and the truth is I just don't have the energy to sit and write anymore like I used to. So, I thought I have to start a blog. I can collect my thoughts, and if any one cares enough to read it (and I let them) that's a bonus! So here I am.



I continue to surprise myself. I think I have things all figured out and then BOOM, I'm in a heap again. My meltdowns never last long and I always get something out of them. I'm entitled to a meltdown every once and awhile, aren't I? After all, I'm strong all the time. I have to be...it's hard to raise two kids without alot of strength especially when you're on your own. However, you don't really think about it...you just do what you have to do to keep it all together and it works...99.9% of the time. So every 60-90 days you need a good cry, a good boo hoo session and that's exactly what I do. Most of the time these meltdowns amount to nothing more than 90 seconds of tears in my pillow, in the dark, alone and then a deep breath, a lot of prayer, and the next thing I know the alarm clock is ringing and I'm back to myself....SUPERWOMAN. Off to work where I do a darn good job of keeping it all together there too...probably better than I do at home. I'm appreciated and I have alot of influence over daily matters and perceptions. I love my job, love my boss even more. Not as much as I love being a mom (obviously). My kids are awesome, they keep me laughing and their unconditional love keeps me going.



So, I have a lot going for me...two great kids, an awesome family, a great job, a good boss...so why is it that I think I need more? I just can't imagine living the rest of my life without a partner to share it with. It's so fulfilling to love someone, not to mention being loved by someone, but it's the loving of someone that is most important to me. I thrive on that. I don't know if that is a reflection of my past (My mom was an unbelievable caretaker...and still is). I want to be someone's rock...I want someone to care so much for me that they are willing to risk emotional suicide to let me in. Is this realistic? I know that I look at the world differently than most. Each day is such a gift, and life happens with or without you...bad stuff happens, oh well, it's miniscule in the scheme of things....drop it...move on...focus on the positive....see the good in people even when they don't...dont' be afraid to love....love 100% ALL OF THE TIME....what is it that everyone is so afraid of? I know love can hurt, but no more than never having it hurts!